I think our generation redefined what "being an adult" meant. We didn't feel the pressure to "give up childish things" and "grow up." We kept our hobbies and passions from youth, we also saw the world changing so rapidly: we started our childhoods playing outside and halfway through becoming an official "adult" we got internet and mobile phones and social media. So it didn't phases us that the world changes fast, and that things are new, and we kept our childish wonder. We also were raised by a generation that was still very patriarchal and repressed, who had kids because they "had to," not because they wanted to, who gave up on their youth pursuits because that's what they were told they had to do (the lack of therapy might have also helped all the jade-ness). Then upon raising us, they poured all their passions and things they didn't get to do, and told us we were special and we could do anything (because they worked hard to make it so for our generation). And then, the world changed so dramatically, and we were caught up with the expectations that the word worked a certain way, the way we were told to prepare for, and then.. it didn't. And we are constantly stuck in the expectations vs reality scenarios, which probably makes us all feel very inexperienced and green, navigating it all. /stream of consciousness over
I do think a lot about those things. I'm 41, feel like I'm in my early 30s, look like i'm either 15 or 55 (depends on the light and amount of make up). No kids, married, with a wall of disney tsum tsums in my office. I still play with Legos, and I also pay my taxes and have a project management certificate. At least they weren't lying when they said we were special and could have it all 😂
I often feel lucky that we are old enough to have experienced life before the internet and young enough to understand and adapt to the changes as they came. and 15 or 55 made me laugh in solidarity because I always say I'm both 5 and 85 at the same time.
I have both regressed in a way and have hit the adult milestone with my cancer diagnosis. Treatment put me into early menopause and so this is the *adult* portion. Also, when you tell people you're a 37yo with breast cancer, it makes you feel ooollllllddddd.
On the other hand, when you are on your 3rd rewatch on DuckTales (a perfect tv show) or giggling over a meme my bestie sent or realizing like...90% of my tshirts are Disney...or that I just love chocolate milk with my morning meds...I am not an adult. And I'm super okay with that.
I am doing as well as I can, which is to say much better than I was before. I recommend therapy for everyone going through something like this and I recommend talking about it as often as possible. I think we keep these sorts of experiences private, as though they're shameful.
They're not. We should know what happens when people get sick. It's scary and it's vulnerable and it's weird. But sometimes it's silly and funny and ridiculous.
I do wish I had friends closer to hang out with and support, but my system got me through.
Also - I hope you are well. We're all going through it right now it seems, in one way or another.
I'm 35, and I literally asked my mom the other day how to become an adult. I own a dance studio, no kids, single, love being on my own... I think that the "adult milestones" have changed for us who took a more alternative path, so we don't feel like we've hit it. We value play and rest time as adults. My parents certainly didn't! Lol I also think that everyone also fakes having their sh*t together. None of us actually knows how to do it. We just smile our facade to strangers and crumple to those closest to us.
Thank goodness for Google. I always wonder how adults did it before we could turn to the internet. Like...you had to ASK people? Actual people?! An introvert's nightmare.
This is exactly how I feel. I just saw a ton of my cousins this last week. Some my age and some of the younger ones. It's so odd to see the little ones in college because it feels like yesterday that they were children and I was a twenty something.
I felt adult for the first time when I went to the cinema without having to check what age rating it was! I get flashes of being an adult, when I care for my parents, cleaning the tile grout, meetings and projects at work. But I still feel like I’m winging it, that a real adult will come along and point the finger at me for being a fraud! I don’t want to feel ‘adult’ all the time. It mostly feels like that’s where your wonder for the world and your passion for adventure sometimes goes to die.
Now that you mention it, I think this is how I operate: "flashes of being an adult". That's such a good way to put it! Caring for my grandpa was a big moment of realization for me that the roles had reversed. And as much as it is an honor and privilege to help in any way I can whenever I can, I miss the kids table sometimes.
"Babies having babies" is exactly what my husband and I kept saying when we had our first at 35 😆
like I'm sorry but are you even old enough to drive?!
I think our generation redefined what "being an adult" meant. We didn't feel the pressure to "give up childish things" and "grow up." We kept our hobbies and passions from youth, we also saw the world changing so rapidly: we started our childhoods playing outside and halfway through becoming an official "adult" we got internet and mobile phones and social media. So it didn't phases us that the world changes fast, and that things are new, and we kept our childish wonder. We also were raised by a generation that was still very patriarchal and repressed, who had kids because they "had to," not because they wanted to, who gave up on their youth pursuits because that's what they were told they had to do (the lack of therapy might have also helped all the jade-ness). Then upon raising us, they poured all their passions and things they didn't get to do, and told us we were special and we could do anything (because they worked hard to make it so for our generation). And then, the world changed so dramatically, and we were caught up with the expectations that the word worked a certain way, the way we were told to prepare for, and then.. it didn't. And we are constantly stuck in the expectations vs reality scenarios, which probably makes us all feel very inexperienced and green, navigating it all. /stream of consciousness over
I do think a lot about those things. I'm 41, feel like I'm in my early 30s, look like i'm either 15 or 55 (depends on the light and amount of make up). No kids, married, with a wall of disney tsum tsums in my office. I still play with Legos, and I also pay my taxes and have a project management certificate. At least they weren't lying when they said we were special and could have it all 😂
I often feel lucky that we are old enough to have experienced life before the internet and young enough to understand and adapt to the changes as they came. and 15 or 55 made me laugh in solidarity because I always say I'm both 5 and 85 at the same time.
I still don’t feel like an adult. I feel like someone’s decided that I am, but I am not
I have both regressed in a way and have hit the adult milestone with my cancer diagnosis. Treatment put me into early menopause and so this is the *adult* portion. Also, when you tell people you're a 37yo with breast cancer, it makes you feel ooollllllddddd.
On the other hand, when you are on your 3rd rewatch on DuckTales (a perfect tv show) or giggling over a meme my bestie sent or realizing like...90% of my tshirts are Disney...or that I just love chocolate milk with my morning meds...I am not an adult. And I'm super okay with that.
I am sending you all the love and strength (and chocolate milk and cartoons!) in the world. How are you doing? I hope you are surrounded by support<3
Thank you for your kind words.
I am doing as well as I can, which is to say much better than I was before. I recommend therapy for everyone going through something like this and I recommend talking about it as often as possible. I think we keep these sorts of experiences private, as though they're shameful.
They're not. We should know what happens when people get sick. It's scary and it's vulnerable and it's weird. But sometimes it's silly and funny and ridiculous.
I do wish I had friends closer to hang out with and support, but my system got me through.
Also - I hope you are well. We're all going through it right now it seems, in one way or another.
I'm 35, and I literally asked my mom the other day how to become an adult. I own a dance studio, no kids, single, love being on my own... I think that the "adult milestones" have changed for us who took a more alternative path, so we don't feel like we've hit it. We value play and rest time as adults. My parents certainly didn't! Lol I also think that everyone also fakes having their sh*t together. None of us actually knows how to do it. We just smile our facade to strangers and crumple to those closest to us.
Thank goodness for Google. I always wonder how adults did it before we could turn to the internet. Like...you had to ASK people? Actual people?! An introvert's nightmare.
This is exactly how I feel. I just saw a ton of my cousins this last week. Some my age and some of the younger ones. It's so odd to see the little ones in college because it feels like yesterday that they were children and I was a twenty something.
The fact that I have a fully adult niece and nephew is blowing my mind.
I felt adult for the first time when I went to the cinema without having to check what age rating it was! I get flashes of being an adult, when I care for my parents, cleaning the tile grout, meetings and projects at work. But I still feel like I’m winging it, that a real adult will come along and point the finger at me for being a fraud! I don’t want to feel ‘adult’ all the time. It mostly feels like that’s where your wonder for the world and your passion for adventure sometimes goes to die.
Now that you mention it, I think this is how I operate: "flashes of being an adult". That's such a good way to put it! Caring for my grandpa was a big moment of realization for me that the roles had reversed. And as much as it is an honor and privilege to help in any way I can whenever I can, I miss the kids table sometimes.